4am

4 in the morning..
my eyes are widely open..
i'm tired..
but i cant sleep..
my heart so empty...
as if something is missing..
i'm losing you..
that's how i feel..
i wanted to cry..
but this time i'll be tough..
i did it..
but it can't maintain
i really don't know how long i can stand..
i tried everything..
i tried my best..
my brain is empty
and
i really don't know what to do...

love is scary
makes me happy
and
lonely...

what i want to be?

what i want to be??

this question sound very simple to someone.. and very complicated for someone.. i want to be a pilot.. yes.. flying a plane is already my dream since i'm a boy.. a small little boy.. that's why all the while i only wanted to be a pilot.. not only a normal commercial plane pilot.. if can be a fighting jet pilot is the best..
flying a fighting jet that can travel few thousand km an hour is not only cool and exciting.. it's so amazing.. everyone that watched sky fighter.. a french movie for sure will fall in love with the pilot.. the jet.. and the sky.. it's so beautiful.. really don't know how to describe.. love it!! more than anything..

me lately..

i miss mag alot.. sobx..

i quit volleyball.. or retired is a better word..

i play softball

i'm in love with softball

i won 3 gold medals by playing softball..

i learn to eat my bro...

i learn to act cute.. and edit my pic..

i became superman... lol...

and i slept in hospital...
scary shit..

Mag is coming back!!

yay!!at last the day come!!tomorrow mag is coming back from shanghai!!hehe.. miss u damn much!!but u come back malaysia already also still the same le.. sobx..you're not coming back to ipog until new year!!

i haven watch twilight yet ah!!!so outdated!! hei..

mum will discharge today if everything is fine.. last night i over night at hospital agani. coz mum is alone in her room.. donno why keep waking up.. damn scary la!!tsk tsk tsk...

planning adrian party is a big thing man!! not that easy!! anyway.. just wanna let all those ppl that read my blog..

adrian birthday party..

on this 16th of dec..

7pm..

moven peak steamboat, greentown..

food provided.. but pay sendiri la!!

lol..

god bless mum!! muackxx!!kisses to mum!!

xoxo to mag!!!

what a day..

yesterday morning i sleep till noon then go hospital visit my mum.. after changed my mum to the 1st class room.. we both go home to see my dad that that al,ost half dead also..choi.. joking.. when i reach home dad is sleeping and my bro is damn tired.. everyone sleeping and i went out to the nearest cyber cafe to update my blog.. then i go home after shoot out my stress and sadness.. then when i reach home dad woke up adi.. his face look so red just lyk a big read apple.. no joke man.. then i wake my bro up and sent my dad to the hospital again.. then bro said.. pack ur stuff and u will over night there tonight.. what!!there you mean HOSPITAL!!!wtf.. hospitall damn scary man..lol.. no lol.. its scary la..

when reach hospital.. a guy check my dad temperature.. its.. 41.5degree celcius.. i think cant cook a egg adi..the guy even said.. 0.5 degree more.. your dad brain is done.. wtf.. maybe if we late by 0.5 mins my dad is done man!! then he is sne t to the emergency wad again.. i'm thinking.. my dad is done man.. yesterday mum need to wait for an hour.. today is so damn crowded.. 2 hours?? by the time i think... choi.. *slap mouth* but surprsingly.. ev enrything is so damn fast.. i'm kinda surprising.. they improve so much in a day time.. just 3 hours after i post my blog.. *my blog really that famous?? the gverment take action after my blog is posted!!*lol.. claps and cheers to me!! thanks for your support!! then was send to the wad and some medicine was given to to him..

after that i go to visit my mum.. and put my stuff there.. i told mum what happen to dad and she was like.. oh..really.. *pandan muka*...whispered.. haha.. then i just talk with mum for a while then my borother came up and we both went down cause my nephew dad came with his sport car!!350Z.. haha.. and i was thinking.. a babe girl..sorry.. is a girl that is 3 years old.. and my cousin aka his dad driving a sport car.. he fetch my nephew home.. and she's sitting beside.. can imagine??!! damn funny la..haha.. what's the police respond if he's caught speeding and his daughter is just beside there and looking at the police.. ok.. nvm.. haha..

after my dad temperature go down we go kopitiam to eat our dinner.. by the time we reach old town is already 10 pm.. its our dinner man.. i ate the curry mee!! ok it's nice.. but the lam mee my dad took is.. omg!! is for dog man..HAHA..

then we go back to hospital.. after a while my bro and dad go home..and my heart is like dad.. bro.. dont go.. i don wanna sleep here tonight.. my bro turn BACK!!! and said to me.. sweet dream!! enjoy ya..!! WTF!! i show him the international finger!!_ _1_ _... lol.. then i off the light coz mum wanted to sleep adi.. i sleep on the patient bed next to my mum.. coz its a four bed 1st class room.. my mum is the only patient inside.. haha.. and my nightmare started.. i message with adrian for a few message.. then i'm so damn tired.... so slept..haha.. then hav have i nightmare man!! 2 person died in my dream.. john sorry.. you're one of them!!!lol.. i donno why..another one is my 2nd bro.. szu szen!! lol.. then i woke up.. the dream i will blog bout it ome other time.. then iu decided to go to the toilet.. after that when i cxame out from the toilet a person with one clother appears in front of i just jump up.. f**k!! is the nurse.. then i walk aroung the floor..

walao so many malays sleep outside there.. what are they doing there?? scary la!!ish..
then went back to sleep again and keep waking up!!
until this morning..................

Mag.. miss you alot.. you're coming back in three days time.. love you... thanks for calling me and texting me.. you are everything to me!!

what happen to mum and dad!!!

i'm half dead now.. my mum is in the hospital.. attack by dengue fever or some virus.. yesterday, after she came back from penang.. she was like so damn tired.. then suddenly my cousin daughter, or my dad lovest grand nephew(we u to take care of her for a year in ipoh, since she is 3 months old) come in to my room and told me that mum wanted to vomit.. i immediately rush into my mum room and see what happen.. she look so pale.. and no energy at all.. then my dad send her to the hospital.. mum sit on the wheel chair all the time while waiting for her turn to SEE the doctor. mum keep complaining she very uncomfortable,, her hand bone and muscle pain,her head was so numb and ache.. and she keep asking me to massage her head and neck.. wtf.. we waited for almost one hour.. we are in the emergency wad.. and we waited for one hours... i saw all those guy working walking here and there.. even SINGING!!! hey, its a hospital.. not a singing competition or karaoke... IDIOT!!! i'm so pissed off.. i just feel like kicking their damn ass hole now and there.. after one hour.. at LAST.. a guy asked my mum to lie on the bed while WAITING!!! i was like WAT?? the f**k!!! waiting?? how long are we suppose to wait.. out side there written... semi emergency... 30minutes++... hey.. we waited for 60++ and how long we have to wait???30hours??0r 30 days!! at last.. the doctor came.. and after giving some details bout what happen to my mum.. the doctor went of again.. and then a guy that look so pro and smart.. and he is not pro and all.. not even a amateur.. coz he wanted to hang some kind of liquid to let it flow into my mum bodythrough her hand..whats that called.. no idea.. to but that bloody needle into my mum hand.. he poke 8 times and he failed!!my mum is so suffer that time.. maybe she did some treatment for her cancer 2 years ago..her vein is smaller then normal people.. then another guy came..luckily he's a better one.. and the needle successfully placed into my mum and her hand is already full of holes and bruises..my heart is so pain and i really dont know what to do that time.. then my mum is moved to the observation wad while waiting for the blood result so come out.. at the observation wad my mum lie in the wad for 6 hours.. the air con is so damn cold.. and i'm half dead after accompany my mum.. then she was transfer to normal wad.. then me and dad go home.. and i saw dad hand is so damn bengkak.. he cant even hold his hand tight.. and he's fever and keep complaining that here and there pain.. i'm so damn worry and dont know wth i shud do.. i'm just afraid that something will happen to my dod..choi.. touch wood.. after reach home...i called my eldest brother that just went back to KL from ipoh few hours ago.. i told him what happen to dad and he called dad and ask dad to go hospital also.. because my nephew was in the house.. so no one will take care of her if my dad go to toilet.. so i just called my eldest bro god mum so to fetch my dad to the hospital.. and my bro oso rush back to ipoh from KL on the middle of the night.. it's sound so crazy.. and i just stay home taking care of my nephew.. i'm so damn worry and my mind is blank that time..alone and dont know what to do.. dad is damn sick.. and mum is in the hospital already..

my zimui din even choi me!!huh!!

mag!! where are you.. i want u!! you are so happy there and i text you and spoil your mood.. sorry.. thanks for replying me..(per message cost 2 buckx) love you alot.. muackx!!

i'm lonely now

i just woke up half hour ago.. i heard jason mraz and colbie caliet- lucky.. is ringtone i choose for mag.. mag!? omg.. mag call me.. she's leaving soon.. and for the next whole week.. i'm going to be so lonely.. i cant text her, i cant call her.. i can c her.. i just cant.. i'm going to miss her so much..

mag, i'll miss you.. love you and enjoy ur holidays!!!

zhou love mag...

kemalangan yang paling ngeri

karangan budak tingkatan 3 "kemalangan yang
paling ngeri"

Pagi itu pagi minggu. Cuaca cukup
sejuk sehingga mencapai takat suhu
beku. Sebab itu saya tidak mandi pagi
sebab air kolah jadi air batu dan air
paip tidak mahu keluar sebab beku di
dalam batang paip. Pagi itu saya
bersarapan dengan keluarga di dalam
unggun api kerana tidak tahan sejuk.
Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya
menemaninya ke pasar. Tetapi saya
tidak mahu. Selepas emak menikam perut
saya berkali-kali dengan garfu barulah
saya bersetuju untuk mengikutnya.

Kami berjalan sejauh 120 kilometer
kerana pasar itu letaknya 128
kilometer dari rumah. Lagi 8 kilometer
nak sampai pasar saya ternampak sebuah
lori kontena meluru dengan laju dari
arah belakang. Dia melanggar emak
saya. Emak saya tercampak ke dalam
gaung. Dia menjerit "Adoi!". Lepas itu
emak saya naik semula dan mengejar
lori tersebut. Saya pun turut berlari
di belakang emak saya kerana takut
emak saya melanggar lori itu pula.

Pemandu lori itu nampak kami
mengejarnya. Dia pun memecut lebih
laju iaitu sama dengan kelajuan
cahaya. Kami pula terpaksa mengejar
dengan lebih laju iaitu sama dengan
dua kali ganda kelajuan cahaya. Emak
saya dapat menerajang tayar depan lori
itu. Lori itu terbabas dan melanggar
pembahagi jalan lalu bertembung dengan
sebuah feri. Feri itu terbelah dua.
Penumpang feri itu yang seramai 100
orang semuanya mati.

Pemandu feri itu sangat marah. Dia
pun bertukar menjadi Ultraman dan
memfire pemandu lori. Pemandu lori
menekan butang khas di dalam lori
dia..lori itu bertukar menjadi robot
Transformer. Mereka bergaduh di udara.
Emak saya tidak puas hati. Dia pun
terus menyewa sebuah helikopter di
Genting Highlands dan terus ke tempat
kemalangan. Dia melanggar pemandu feri
yang telah bertukar menjadi Ultraman
itu. Pemandu feri itu terkejut dan
terus bertukar menjadi pemandu feri
semula lalu terhempas ke jalanraya.
Pemandu feri itu pecah. Pemandu lori
sangat takut melihat kejadian itu. Dia
meminta maaf dari emak saya. Dia
menghulurkan tangan ingin bersalam.
Tetapi emak saya masih marah. Dia
menyendengkan helikopternya dan
mengerat tangan pemandu lori itu
dengan kipas helikopter. Pemandu lori
itu menjerit "Adoi..!" dan jatuh ke
bumi.

Emak saya menghantar helikopter
itu ke Genting Highlands. Bila dia
balik ke tempat kejadian, dia terus
memukul pemandu lori itu dengan beg
tangannya sambil memarahi pemandu lori
itu di dalam bahasa Inggeris. Pemandu
lori itu tidak dapat menjawab sebab
emak saya cakap orang putih. Lalu
pemandu lori itu mati. Tidak lama
kemudian kereta polis pun sampai. Dia
membuat lapuran ke ibu pejabatnya
tentang kemalangan ngeri itu. Semua
anggota polis di pejabat polis itu
terperanjat lalu mati.
Orang ramai mengerumuni tempat
kejadian kerana ingin mengetahui apa
yang telah terjadi.. Polis yang
bertugas cuba menyuraikan orang ramai
lalu dia menjerit menggunakan pembesar
suara. Orang ramai terperanjat dan
semuanya mati..

Selepas itu emak saya mengajak
saya ke pasar untuk mengelak lebih
ramai lagi yang akan mati. Di pasar,
emak saya menceritakan kejadian itu
kepada penjual daging. Penjual daging
dan peniaga-peniaga berhampiran yang
mendengar cerita itu semuanya terkejut
dan mati. Saya dan emak saya terus
berlari balik ke rumah. Kerana terlalu
penat sebaik saja sampai di rumah kami
pun mati. Itulah kemalangan yang
paling ngeri yang pernah saya lihat
sebelum saya mati.

love

im in a relationship with a girl..i love her alot.. and i think she love me too.. i dont know who loves who more.. but i know i love her alot.. more than everyone.. exclude my brothers and my parents.. she means so much to me..

to maintain a relationship is not only about how loving are you.. is not you willing to die for that person ur relationship.. and your love for he/she will never fade...

to fall in love on someone is easy.. too easy.. but love someone forever is far too hard.. we never know what will happen the next 10years,10 months,10days,10minutes,or even 10seconds.. one second before this we can love each other so much.. but may the next seconds u cant hate each other so much that u will even kill the person that USED TO BE ur lovest one... thats LOVE..

now..i'm in love with another girl..the girl that i used to like her.. the girl that used to be my girlfriend 2 years ago.. now we are together again.. everything is like magic.. from we started together until now.. from she just want me.. to deeply fall in love.. then started to bored of it.. and love me so much again.. my love for her never fade... along the 11months we together.. i love her so much.. i'm hurt by her.. but i never hate her.. never...but every couple can never run away from argue..we argue and make each other laugh again and argue and smile.. it repeat again and again... but i never hate her.. i even enjoy it when i think about it again.. to maintain our relationship.. i learn to give and take.. i learn to do something romantic... something stupid... something crazy... something funny.. something cute.. i try to do everything that all the tvb or hollywood or bollywood or japan drama or korean drama or even those hokkien drama.... i even did something that over that...
all is because i love her..she's saying that i enjoy online then talking to her.. she's in very bad mood this few day.. i try my best to make her happy and not to argue with her.. but i'm that kind of people that will angry easily..i try to control and even push it to as low as i can so that i wont angry.. but sometimes i'll out of control oso i'm sorry.. i really didnt mean it.. i always try my best to make you happy.. and i love u..
mag.. suzhou love u alot..

Bread day's

i came to kl yesterday night.. i will probably stay here until this Saturday night.. then i'll back to ipoh again.. today is the 1st day.. because my brother need to go work.. so i'm staying in his room the whole day.. tonight he's having dinner in hilton hotel.. so, i think i'll spend my whole day here till midnight he come back and go out for supper..

i wake up 7 in the morning because my brother ask me to help him lock the door cause he's leaving the house key with me.. then after he leave i wanted to continue sleep but i cant!!!last night sleep at2.30 leh!!! hei..so the only thing i can do is to switch on the laptop and online.. i check all my mail.. then i check my facebook.. and everything.. i even pick a new template and change something and make it my template.. boring...

after that i start my bread day activities... first , i wanted to take my breakfast.. i ate 4 slices of bread.. 2 slices eat with cheese and another two eat with planta and peanut butter.. then i continue to do whatever i can do hope that time will fly...

then after an hour i feel hungry.. so eat another 2 slices of bread with mayonnaise.. then i realise that the floor of the whole house is full of
hairs..
short hair.. long hair... bulu ketiak.. bulu apong...
and oso
bulu burong..
and oso habuk!!and sands.. omg.. how am i suppose to makan lalu in such house..
and the wall oso berbulu!!!sweat..t
that one but be... bulu... bulu...
bulu of some one ass!!!
lol...
and what to do, my brother is busy, his awek is back in penang because of something not good... and his housemate... i dono where the hell is he also.. when i sweeping the
berbulu-bulu floor
, i heard someone is coughing.. its a women sound man...then i only realise that i'm not alone in this house.. omg.. there is a chubby... sexy ... and sick women sleeping in the room next to the room i'm sleeping..
then i called my bro and ask him did he left any protitude in home..
he said
sohai..gai(gai=chicken=pelacur) ur head!!!
is my housemate tiu loi(tiu=batang; loi=perempuan)....
joking..
it means girl friend in cantonese..
then i was like...oh..phew..hahahahaha.. then he ended the call.. sweat.. i still wanna ask him something la!!!ish...

then i continue to sweep the floor.. then i stop a while to take my lunch.. roti with tuna..roti again......sobx....

after finish my lunch continue sweeping the berbulu floor..
after half hour i tink the berbulu floor is
so smooth and clean
like just shave!!!
lol...

after that bath and eat roti again.. and now im here blogging!!!!

wanna eat satay kajang!!!
rabbit meat!!
nyek nyek nyek....